I heard a "joke" once. A man goes to a hotel and gets a room. The hotel employee warns him that the only room left has a guy staying next door that is a bit high-strung so he should be weary not to startle him or make any loud sudden noises. The man says that is fine, as he only needs the room for a few hours to rest. Once in the hotel room, the man quietly starts to undress being careful not to make much fuss because of the guy next door. He sits down on the edge of the bed and starts to remove one of his shoes, he loses his grip and the shoe smacks down on the tile floor and makes a loud THWAP! The man cringes and hopes that this did not disturb the man next door. He is careful to remove his other shoe without even the slightest noise and places it gently on the chair next to his bed. After a few hours, there is a loud bang at the man’s door, he opens it and a man is standing there, clearly looking anxious and in a panic. He yells "FOR GODS SAKE, DROP THE OTHER SHOE!!!??".
I butchered that story but it was along those same lines. It’s a humorous take on where the saying "waiting for the other shoe to drop" came from. Most people use the term to describe a certain specific instance, as though it means the same as karma. That every action has a reaction and that if a decision is made (whether it be good or bad) there will be some sort of outcome to it (good or bad). If you work hard for many years at your job, you could be “waiting for the other shoe to drop”, meaning you are waiting for your reward for all of the years of hard work. It can also be negative, such as if you missed a ton of work and called out all the time, you could be “waiting for the other shoe to drop”, meaning you are anxiously awaiting your pink slip.
I do not entirely believe it to mean anything positive or negative.
I take it to mean that some people are constantly living with anxiety and panic waiting for the worst possible thing to happen in their otherwise normal and calm existence.
I am eternally waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It isn’t that I am walking around with nervous nellie butterflies in my stomach all the time waiting for a piano to fall on my head or for a car to run me over. I am acutely aware that some things just happen and I have no control over them. It is during the larger decisions that I make in my life that I am waiting on the SHOE.
For example, I recently decided to exit the workforce and go to school full-time and live off of student loans. I have a good resume, I have experience, I have the ability, knowledge, intelligence and motivation to get a decent job, however due to the recent economic crunch, the best positions I could find were not challenging, rewarding or anywhere near what I wanted to do in my life. So, I made the decision to focus completely on school at an attempt to set myself up in my thirties to have a job that I at least enjoyed to some extent doing something that I felt good about. I can almost hear the shoe dropping already.
Worst Case Scenario – I finish school, rack up tens of thousands of dollars in student loans and I still can’t find a decent job because the economy hasn’t turned around. Or better yet, they stop handing out student loans and financial aid to students thus ending any sort of chance I had at acquiring a degree in the first place.
I have mentally, physically and emotionally prepared myself for these outcomes even though I have 2 years left of school and there is no immediate threat of not being able to get student loans. But by preparing for them, at least mentally and emotionally, I am setting myself up to not have a nervous breakdown when both of those things inevitably happen (which they will). So although I am constantly waiting to get smacked in the face by the shoe, I’m not exactly letting it get in my way of doing what I set out to do.
I follow this pattern with all the decisions I make in my life that should or could have some sort of outcome. I’m not saying that this is the correct way to think; I am actually saying the complete opposite. It makes for quite the depressing school day when I am constantly thinking about how after all this hard work and dedication, I will most likely be unemployed with an expensive piece of paper in my hand that simply means “Yay, you can memorize stuff and pass tests!”.
Relationships are no different.
Worst Case Scenario - I meet prince charming and fall head over heels (another good saying). I finally open up and trust that this person feels the same way I do. Then, I get cheated on or lied too or dumped or murdered in my sleep with a shoe.
By preparing myself for the end before it even begins, I am actually creating a nice comfy spike shield around my heart so that instead of it breaking it will actually slice through the skin of any unsuspecting suitor who tries to fuck with it. This of course makes relationships very difficult for me, as I am never fully committed for fear of said heart breakage.
This can go the same way for friendships.
Worst Case Scenario - I meet a new friend, begin to trust them, share stories, tell secrets, then they swiftly stab a giant shoe in my back quicker than I can remember their kids names and birthdays (doing so is a big deal to me). It’s bound to happen and even if it doesn’t, I sure as shit will be ready for it.
So what is worse? Anxiously yet preparedly waiting for the shoe to drop? Or simply assuming that the shoe will never drop because it has been quietly placed on the chair next to the bed?
I don’t think I could ever be comfortable knowing that the shoe won’t drop. Mainly because I’m hoping with all of the Worst Case Scenarios, there has to be at least one or two Best Case Scenarios that will happen. But can a BCS actually happen if I am never fully dedicated? If I continuously prepare for the worst and never think of the best, can the best actually happen? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Peace,
Jamie
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