Saw the first one, thought it was alright. Don't really remember it much which is why I am taking to my blog for the second one. I want to be able to remember this moment when i'm a wise elder.
I'm a little late in the game I realize. This movie came out weeks ago. I'm not a huge "go to the movies" type of person. I'd rather watch em at my own house or not at all. The entire entertainment industry kind of annoys me (of course it does). The fact that "actors" make millions of dollars to just stand in front of a camera and pretend to be someone else in order to entertain me like i'm a fucking 2 year old playing peek a boo, sickens me. BUT, I am human so like everyone else I put on my Mondays best and trolled over to the local cinema to sit in an empty theatre with a few other dorks who had nothing better to do but watch this summers blockbuster, even though all the reviews were terrible.
Here is what I have to say about this movie, quickly (quickly meaning 7 totally drawn out long winded paragraphs):
Shia Lebeouf is hot. Megan Fox is hot. Josh Duhamel is hot. Tyrese is hot. Even Bumblebee is hot in this movie.
Shia never disappoints me. I used to watch him on Disney's Even Stevens when I was younger. I think he's a good actor and he has a funny delivery, I think he has the potential to become my generations...Will Smith. He continues his nerdy yet surprisingly rugged roll and plays it off well. He made me laugh a few times. He made me want to punch him in the face a few times. He shouted "BUMBLEBEEEEEE!!!!!" WAYYYYY TOO MANY TIMES. Overall....yay Shia. I would like to see him and Josh Duhamel naked. Just sayin.....
The first moment you see Megan Fox she is literally straddle humping a crotch rocket with her ass hanging out of her shorts. I GET IT. She is BEAUTIFUL. She is SEXY. She has giant LIPS. It was just super cheesy. She played her part again, hot chick...running around....seems way too cool for Shia but for some wacky reason she loves him. The story between Shia and Megan was uber cheesed up, but so was the story between Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck in Armageddon. Or Will Smith and Vivica A Fox in Independence Day. Or Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Mcguire in Spiderman. Or every other action/end of the world movie ever made since the beginning of time.
Shia's parents were hilarious and the best actors in this movie.
The special effects were cool. I was pretty amazed by some of the "transformations" that were made, but then it seemed like they started to exaggerate them. Some transformations took what seemed like 15 minutes and by then you'd think a decepticon would have just blown some shiz up and gone home. Sometimes the graphics got a little too insane so you couldn't tell what the hell was happening. At two points I felt nauseous. But overall, the effects were rad. The robots looked the most real i've ever seen a movie robot look.
The two robots.....the twins. Skids and Mudflap ( I had to look that up )....they were the Jar Jar Binks of this movie. I hated them.
Also, the stupid cheeseball catch phrases the robots kept saying were fucking awful. AWFUL.
This movie would have been a hundred times better if they got rid of the cheeseball shit writing and they made it a bit darker. I liked the way it incorporated the events into everyday life like it could possibly be happening in real life. But overall....I hated the movie. This coming from someone who loved Independence Day, which is the lamest cheesiest movie in the world. At least they didn't make the aliens say stupid ass catch phrases. They left that to Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum ("I gotta get me one of these!" "Yes, yes. Yes. Without the "oops"".)
If you liked the first one, you'll think it was better than this one. If you are a chick, it's worth seeing for Shia, Josh and Tyrese. If you are a dude, Megan Fox's boozunga's are hangin out throughout the whole movie. Graphics cool, Acting horrible, Writing terrible.
I give it 1 nug out of 5.
P.S. One of the writers for this wrote - Scream 3, Arlington Road, Reindeer Games and The Ring. The other two, wrote for the Hercules series on television. That. explains. everything.
Director Michael Bay directed Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, Bad Boys and The Lionel Richie Collection. Woop.....
