So i'm a rapper. Don't believe me? Just check this shiz out. Ive been waiting for the perfect opportunity to start a "Within 140 character Twitter Rap Battle" for some time now, and today looked like the perfect day. 3 Rounds. No Mercy. I took everyone down...one by one.
Round One: Jamie vs. Tail
Tail: nobody told me it was 140. I could have come up with that. You 2 and your nerdy rules
Jamie: who u callin nerdy, ur st cloud tire lovin dirty, twitter makes the rule you fool, 140 im outie.
Tail: Nerd is the word, like I know u have heard. You talk lots of game, bur your rhymes are just plain.
Tail: You jokes are old, your rhymes run cold, you try to teach lessons but you've just been schooled.
Jamie: old school of rhyme, school and cold dont blend, ur brain on the mend? u cant hang with the professor cause ur lessor, hack phlegm.
Jamie: listen vanilla my skillz top thriller, i got a glove with ur name on it, drink another st cloud miller. http://bit.ly/wAUkz
Tail: Just throw in the towel, its not cool to scowl. Your rhymes are played out, pack up cause School's out.
Tail: a truce should be called, a lyrical compliation, to dethrone Miss Jamie a true trial and tribulation.
Jamie: dethrone? come here ill throw u a bone, poo rhymes with you and fail rhymes with tail, bring it on cracker my licks ain't stale.
WINNER: Jamie (easy shmeezy)
Round Two: Jamie vs. Crispy
Crispy: my name is christoph, i'm always pissed off, and in my trunk, i got a sawed off...then i farted!
Jamie: ur name isnt christoph more like hoff as in hassle, germany loves you but thats it, you should quit, for you rappin ain't it.
WINNER: Jamie (K/O)
Round Three: Jamie vs. Mickey (this is where shit. got. crazy.)
Jamie: Watch ur mouth white boy. E. B's nails are razor sharp, he'll cut up your face like he's playin a harp. <-rapping is easy
Mickey: It's easy when you spit shit simplistic, but I'm a sadistic linguistic mystic that goes ballistic when I rock it narcissistic
Jamie: ur rhymes are distant you need an assistant I am resistant, remember soma you gotta try to be consistent and persistent.
Mickey: Yours skills are redundant while mine flow abundant, I'm the czar with a scar, raps first white lyrical pundit
Jamie: Lyrical pundit?More like I lyrically pwnd it.Professor of rap I popcaps like lock I dont stop.Pill poppin rush wannabe aint got nothin on me
Mickey: Pizza's here, so off the hook I'll let you, with whack rap like that, it's highly likely I'll just forget you.
Jamie: eat ur za' pepperoni ur full of baloney, im the mushroom that will crush rooms, forget me, forget u, u and cindy loo hoo.
Mickey: 'za with 'napple and ham, your rhymes are scam. I wish twitter would just filter your canned yam and spam, sam
Jamie: suess is old, like ur rhymes are bad, whatsamatta ur lettin a girl break a foot off in ur ass?
Mickey: You're an irrelephant, that's an irrelevant elephant. Like Horton your sportin a rant that's scant. You should just recant
Jamie: quit quotin the dr. u rhyme stealin fool, im too cool, cant stop it im old school, put ya in a coma soma nice to know ya, i own ya
Mickey: why reinvent the wheel when there are rhymes aplenty to steal. You spit the fromage while I dish the homage
Jamie: if im the irrelevant elephant, then u know I never forget, steal from the dr, no point im the professor 2 legit.
Mickey: You rep the Hammer with your Grammar? Now that's too damn far, just stammer and clamor and enamor with my glamor
Jamie: ill follow ur lead and rhyme like my niece,you should cease ur rappin lease,ur a piece, im hot as hell like im rapped up in fleece.
Mickey: Fleeced like a sheep, Bowls of Pebbles are more deep, just go back to sleep, you make the gods of rap weep, creep.
WINNER: Mickey. Whatever.
Other noteable raps:
Mickey to Tail: Hello? Like Lionel Richie,You're getting beat so then you turn bitchie? You try to f wit me? Bitch please. You're an aborted sneeze
Mickey to Jamie in response to Tail: a throne she must in order to lose it, we should search eBay for her new ego, cause her old one? I bruised it
DJJohn: doin' thisspaghetti - Serengeti - Eveready incomplete - sink and weep - toilet seat back street - track meet - that's neat! - half beat
DJJohn: I am funny,I like bunnies, Touch my tummy, Mummy
Tail to Jamie: Scared she now runs, and violence is spoken, i liked her much better when she was a tokin...
Tail to Mickey about Jamie: ICP you do say, I will have to agree, oh how will we smite her, oh god, i just peed.
MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!!!
Mickey to Tail: Old and time tested, and you've been soundly digested and bested, you need steam punk chair cause you've just been wild wild wested
Follow all of us on twitter (if you dare):
@JamieExp
@somacow (mickey)
@TailExp
@crispydork
@djjohndork
Til next time -
Peace
